- 13 Talk
-
Snowmen
"First she says go out. Now she says come in."
--Calvin, after making a snow sculpture of a snowman bowling with another snowman's head
Added by Calvin's RivalThe following is a list of relevant snowmen or sets of snowmen built by Calvin, in order of appearance.
Gigantic Snowman
Edit

Added by Serpinium

Added by SerpiniumAutomobile accident snowmen
Edit
A set of four snowmen in the driveway of Calvin's house: one of them trisected by the family car, the rest gaping in horror. The panel featured on the right is frequently mistaken to be a single strip, when it is in fact part of a Sunday comic. Featured 2/28/88.

Added by SerpiniumFrankenstein snowman
Edit
A generic snowman laying on its back. Calvin hoped to electroshock it to life, but was foreseeably unable to obtain a lightning storm during winter. Featured 1/27/89.

Added by SerpiniumEffigies
Edit
Effigies of people Calvin hated; the idea was that when the effigies melted, Calvin would have been able to watch their disfigurement and final demise. The people he particularly hated were represented by smaller snowmen which would melt faster. Featured 1/30/89.

Added by SerpiniumTiny snowmen
Edit
Many times, Calvin is seen building snowmen only a few inches tall. The first time the tiny snowmen were seen, he crushed them all while pretending to be a T-rex. The second time, a group of a hundred strong tiny snowmen were running from a regular-sized snowman which, to them, was terrifyingly large. The third time, fifteen or so snowmen were built at the bottom of a hill so that Calvin could crash into them with his toboggan. The fourth and final time, a crowd of a hundred strong tiny snowmen awaited for another of their kind to jump from the top of Calvin's house. Featured 2/5/89, 2/29/92, 1/13/93 and 1/12/95.

Added by SerpiniumCalvin decoy
Edit
A rudimentary look-alike Calvin built of himself to trick his enemies into exposing themselves. Ultimately, it only exposed Hobbes as an enemy. Featured 2/19/89.

Added by SerpiniumTwo-headed snowman
Edit
An unconventional snowman with two heads built next to the sidewalk by Calvin. Both heads held their mouths agape in stupidity. Featured 2/23/89.

Added by SerpiniumSnowman House of Horror
Edit
A set of five horribly injured snowmen built next to the sidewalk. One of them had been chopped in half with a sled driven by a baby snowman, one more had a tree growing through his stomach, another had three eyes and two noses, yet another had removed its own head and a final one was almost buried. Featured 12/28/89.

Added by SerpiniumTransplant Patient
Edit
The transplant patient was a generic snowman lying on its back with a saw halfway through his head. Calvin planned to perform brain surgery on the snowman. Featured 1/6/90.
Snow Art
Edit

Added by Serpinium
Added by Serpinium
Added by Serpinium
Added by SerpiniumMocking Snowman
Edit
A snowman that Calvin built out of spite when his father made him play outside instead of watching television indoors. The ill-intended creation looked at Calvin's father through the window with a mocking grimace. Featured 12/27/90.

Added by WestonWyseDeranged mutant killer monster snow goons
Edit
This series began as an attempt by Calvin to bestow life on a snowman by invoking the "great and terrible snow demons." The attempt went wrong and instead of the snowman slave or butler he set out to create, Calvin got a growling, lurching monstrosity which he described to Hobbes as a "deranged mutant killer monster snow goon" (The phrase was used as the basis of the title of the Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons printed collection). The goon went on to create others of its kind; at least one had two heads. Calvin and Hobbes finally killed them by spraying them with the hose while they were sleeping around his house. He made a sign sometime later stating that 40-something snowmen met "a gruesome fate" on the spot of Calvin's house. Featured 12/31/90 through 1/19/91.

Added by SerpiniumSnowmen that slowed traffic down
Edit
It is unknown how many of these Calvin made, but three distinct sets are shown. The first features a cannon perforating a snowman's chest, the second a contented-looking snowman burying another alive, and the third a snowman lynching himself. Calvin's father believes the snowmen are responsible for slowing down traffic. Featured 1/21/91.

Added by SerpiniumSnow snake
Edit
A very large snakelike snow sculpture. Calvin placed himself inside its "mouth", and when Susie approached, pretended the snake was alive and dangerous. Its purpose was similar to that of the Man-Eating Snowman. Featured 2/6/91,

Added by SerpiniumSnowman Protest
Edit
A set of six snowmen in the driveway of Calvin's house, wielding picket signs on which could be made out:
- Too Strict
- Calvin's Dad Unfair
- Later Bedtimes Fewer Baths
- Egad! Bad Dad!
- More Freedom
- Homework No!
Featured 2/7/91.

Added by SerpiniumSnow Dinosaur
Edit
A long wall of snow that traced an outline when seen from the air. The outline was that of a theropod dinosaur, and was traced around Calvin's house in a manner that madeit look as if the dinosaur was about to eat the house. Featured 2/9/91.

Added by SerpiniumSpirit of the New Year
Edit
In the foreground of this set was an inspirational snowman meant to represent the spirit of the New Year - his hand on his forehead as if staring into the distance, and leaning forward into it. Calvin cited that he "strides forward with confidence... Calling forth the best qualities of human drive and ingenuity." In the background, however, other snowmen were either laughing at the inspiring sculpture, arguing, or lounged lazily against trees. They were described as "the real world."
Note: Image has been altered to remove irrelevant panels.

Added by SerpiniumMan-eating snowman
Edit
A huge snowman with a big mouth. Calvin placed himself in its mouth to create the impression he was being eaten alive. Featured 2/4/92.

Added by SerpiniumThe hill snowman
Edit
A giant snowman peeking over the edge of a hill. Only the top of the head and "fingers" grasping the hill were built, but from the right angle it appeared to be an entire snowman. It could be a reference to the "Kilroy was here" graffiti phenomenon from WWII. Featured 2/6/92.

Added by SerpiniumSoldier Snowmen
Edit
A line of at least six snowmen performing a crisp military salute. Calvin built them next to the walkway so as to salute his father when he returned from work. Featured 2/18/92.

Added by SerpiniumBourgeois Buffoon
Edit
A strange, artfully themed snowmen that Calvin intended to make many of. However, he moved on to other projects when his mother refused his grant application. Featured 2/19/92.

Added by SerpiniumAvant Garde Snowman
Edit
A normal-looking, orthodox snowman that Calvin claimed to be an avant-garde work of art. Featured 2/20/92.

Added by SerpiniumSnowhead for Susie
Edit
Not exactly a snowman but still relevant, this was the disembodied head of a snowman that Calvin had left on Susie's doorstep to intimidate her. Featured 2/26/92.

Added by SerpiniumEaster Island heads
Edit
A lineup of at least six giant snowman heads reminiscent of the Easter Island Moai statues. Calvin built them in the front yard of his house. Featured 2/27/92.

Added by SerpiniumThe Torment of Existence Weighed Against the Horror of Nonbeing
Edit
A snowman head pondering the difficulty and meaning of life. Its face was stuck in a hideous, agonizing grimace due to the dense subject of its relexions.
Note: Image has been altered to remove irrelevant panels.

Added by SerpiniumHostile aliens
Edit
This set featured two snow aliens emerging from an oblong vessel to fire at an Earth snowman. Calvin insisted that it was great art and an expression of high culture.
Note: Image has been altered to remove irrelevant panels.

Added by SerpiniumImpaled Snowheads
Edit
A set of three disembodied snowman heads stuck on branches Calvin placed next to the front walkway of his house. Featured 1/12/93.

Added by SerpiniumAnatomically correct snowman
Edit
A nude snowman that Calvin's mother told her son to take down in the interest of decency. Calvin built it in the front yard after seeing Susie build an anatomically accurate female snowman. Featured 1/14/93.

Added by SerpiniumSick Snowmen
Edit
A set of at least four sickly snowmen. One was about to vomit, another was holding his stomach, yet another was clutching his throat and a final one had passed out. Calvin built them next to the driveway of his house to signal his dislike of the eggplant casserole his mother had prepared for dinner. Featured 1/18/93.

Added by SerpiniumBathtub Snowman
Edit
A snow look-alike of Calvin. He had placed it in the tub as a decoy in order to avoid taking his bath. Featured 1/20/93.

Added by SerpiniumGlasses Snowman
Edit
This set featured a snow counterpart of Calvin's father ready to flog a snow Calvin. Much like with the mocking snowman, Calvin built it to express how he felt about being told to go out and shovel the walk, and even stole his father's glasses to complete the snowman. Featured 1/27/93.

Added by SerpiniumThe Triumph of Perseverance
Edit
An ambitious project that Calvin barely even started. Intended as a "monumental, heroic snow sculpture", it never progressed beyond a single medium-sized snowball, after completion of which Calvin was too bored to continue. Featured 2/17/93.

Added by SerpiniumSnowmen Prophets of Doom
Edit
A set of three melting snowmen made just before springtime. The scuptures wielded picket signs on which could be made out:
- Repent Sinners
- The End Is Near
- Spring Is Coming
Featured 3/8/93.

Added by SerpiniumThe Spirit of Compromise
Edit
An unfinished set of two snowmen shaking hands to symbolise the settling of their differences. Calvin would have built one and Hobbes the other, but they quarreled over whose snowman should have had a longer arm to reach the other snowman's hand.

Added by Serpinium Suicidal snowman
Edit
A fairly generic snowman with a hot water bottle on its head. Calvin told Hobbes the snowman was using the bottle to commit suicide. Featured 1/4/94.

Added by SerpiniumSnowmonster
Edit
A set featuring a monstrous giant snow squid and terrified snowmen running away.
Note: Image has been altered to remove irrevelant content.
Featured 1/10/94.

Added by SerpiniumExplorer snowman
Edit
A snowman wearing Calvin's explorer hat and holding up a shrunken head out of a cauldron. Featured 1/22/94.

Added by SerpiniumAthletic Snowmen
Edit
A set of at least three snowmen with grusemome sports-related injuries. One had landed facefirst after jumping off a springboard, another was golfing with its own head, and a final one was being maniacally stabbed in the head with a tennis racket by another snowman. Featured 2/15/94.

Added by SerpiniumSnowman Crossing
Edit
A set of numerous snowman crossing the driveway of Calvin's house, with a "Snowman Crossing" sign nearby. Calvin presumably had to take the set down to make way for the family car.

Added by SerpiniumSnow chicken
Edit
This set consisted of an oversized snow chicken bringing down an axe to decapitate a "human" snowman, in a role reversal of mankind's meat consumption. Featured 1/6/95.

Added by SerpiniumSnow sharks
Edit
This set showed panicked-looking snowman swimming in the snow, with ominous fins trailing behind to represent "snow sharks".

Added by SerpiniumNude Descending A Staircase
Edit
A set that featured a nude snowman at the top of a very small snow staircase. Calvin claimed that it was art and would speak to future generations after his passing. Featured 1/24/95.

Added by SerpiniumSnow Dog
Edit
A small dog crafted out of snow. Calvin placed it next to a fire hydrant, to some outcry. Featured 2/1/95.

Added by SerpiniumBowling Snowman
Edit
This set had a snowman playing ten-pin bowling with the head of another, decapitated snowman at its side. This snowman had scored a 3-6 split after this first bowl. Featured 12/15/95.

Added by Serpinium

Added by Serpinium
Added by SerpiniumGeneric snowmen
Edit
In the interest of commercialism (and perhaps due to a lack of ideas), Calvin has built a few run-of-the mill, conventional snowmen. Calvin built one inside his room (much to his mother's dismay), used another to practice his snowball aim and yet another to safety-test a hill for sledding. Featured 2/15/1986, 14/1/1989 and 5/2/1989 respectively. 
Added by SerpiniumIce cream snowmen
Edit
A set of two snowmen. One was enjoying a snow cone, while the other had been stabbed with the ice cream scoop. Calvin referred to it as a "sordid story". Featured 12/29/95.
This is the third-to-last strip of the whole series.