Quotes by CalvinEdit

Calvin: Reality continues to ruin my life.

Calvin: As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.

Calvin: I’m a genius, but I’m a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What’s misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I’m a genius.

Calvin : You can’t just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.

Calvin: See Any UFOs?
Hobbes: Not yet.
Calvin: Well, keep your eyes open, they’re bound to land here sometime.
Hobbes: What will we do when they come?
Calvin: See if we can sell mom and dad into slavery for a star cruiser.

Calvin: Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.
Hobbes: That’s thoughtful of you.
Calvin: See, on the front it says, ‘Get Well Soon’ … and on the inside it says,’Because me bed isn’t made, my clothes need to be put away and I’m hungry. Love Calvin.’ Want to sign it?
Hobbes: Sure, I’m hungry too.

Calvin: Since September it’s just gotten colder and colder. There’s less daylight now, I’ve noticed too. This can only mean one thing – the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isn't going out. He says its colder because the earth’s orbit is taking us farther from the sun. He says winter will be here soon. Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

Hobbes : It says here that by the age of 6, most children have seen a million murders on television.
Calvin : I find that very disturbing…it means I’ve been watching all the wrong channels.

Calvin: The days are getting colder.

Hobbes: Yes.

Calvin: Bugs are dying by the truckload! Hahaha! Good riddance to them all! I like fall.

Calvin: Childhood is short, maturity is forever.

Calvin: I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian.

Calvin: Work fascinates me, I can watch it for hours.

Calvin: There aren’t very many heroes these days. Who is out there to inspire us with a personal example of virtue and self-sacrifice in the name of a higher good? Who can we look up to? Business Leaders? Sports Figures? Politicians? Celebrities? Heck, we’re lucky if they don’t end up in prison! As usual, the hero business is up to me!

Calvin: I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside.

Calvin: Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Calvin: Where do we keep all our chainsaws, mom?

Calvin: That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Calvin: In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research in finding a cure of jerks.

Calvin: You know, Hobbes. Even somedays, my lucky underpants don't help.

Calvin: I've found the only thing that satisfies me is instant self gratification.

Calvin: I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge.

Calvin: The laws are on the books, but it would take all their resources to enforce it.

Calvin: I don't need parents. All I need is a recording that shouts "Go play outside!"

Calvin: Mothers are the necessity of invention.