- "It jumped me!!"
- ―Calvin after having his bike jump on him after touching it in Something Under the Bed Is Drooling
Calvin's Killer Bike is a recurring antagonist and plot device in Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin's bicycle is often seen attacking him, explaining his fear of learning how to ride it. However, it will only do so when other people are not present.
Role and Description
Although its motivations are never stated, its methods for mauling Calvin are cunning and diverse. As Calvin is not liable to get near it, it will resort to trickery and deceit. Firstly, if it's in plain sight of Calvin, it pretends not to be harmful and jumps on him at the last minute. The rest of the time, it hides, waiting for Calvin to come along. Although it usually hides outside, it once lay quietly in Calvin's closet until he opened it. When attacking Calvin, it will sometimes forget that it must not reveal itself to adults, blinded by rage.
This has led it to make messy tire tracks inside the house, which it was unable to remove. It is somehow capable of ringing the doorbell of Calvin's house, as well as standing still with the kickstand up.
The only person who actually believes these stories is Hobbes. Hobbes is often shown laughing at Calvin taking precautions for the bike (like wearing extra pairs of clothes to cushion his fall) or giving Calvin ideas to dismantle it (like putting a stick on the outer tire and pushing to deflate the tire).
Calvin does have some defenses against his killer bicycle:
- A stick to jam inside the spokes and trip the bicycle.
- A rope to wrangle it with.
- A lock to lock it up with.
- Tools to dismantle it (never actually used).
- Oil to lure it.
- Dismantle it and mail every piece to a different country so it can never be rebuilt (never occured).